// Original Script by Bill Reid's JQuotes
day = new Date()
hr = day.getSeconds()
if (hr == (" 0"))
tag=("Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic")
if (hr == (" 1"))
tag=("If I had but one life to give for my country, it would be a lawyer's.")
if (hr == (" 2"))
tag=("If a lawyer and a taxman were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?")
if (hr == (" 3"))
tag=("What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.")
if (hr == (" 4"))
tag=("Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. ~ Anton Chekhov")
if (hr == (" 5"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 6"))
tag=("Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait. ~ A. Whitney Brown")
if (hr == (" 7"))
tag=("It has been discovered that lawyers are the larval stage of politicians.")
if (hr == (" 8"))
tag=("No artist ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth. ~ Jean Giradoux")
if (hr == (" 9"))
tag=("There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge.")
if (hr == (" 10"))
tag=("I'll never discuss my lawyer's character in his absence, so let's discuss his absence of character!  ~ Michael Lara")
if (hr == (" 11"))
tag=("Legal Terminology: 'Insofar as manifestations of functional deficiencies are agreed by any and all concerned parties to be imperceivable, and are so stipulated, it is incumbent upon said heretofore mentioned parties to exercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent maintenance procedures.' English: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it.'")
if (hr == (" 12"))
tag=("Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons: I've got em coz everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they flock everything up. ~ Danny De Vito in 'Other People's Money'")
if (hr == (" 13"))
tag=("Lawyer: a cat who settles disputes between mice.")
if (hr == (" 14"))
tag=("The exact date that professional attorneys came into existence is unknown, although the first complaints about them were recorded in the twelfth century.")
if (hr == (" 15"))
tag=("Talk is cheap...until lawyers get involved.")
if (hr == (" 16"))
tag=("A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.  ~ Benjamin Franklin")
if (hr == (" 17"))
tag=("Psychiatrist 1:  I hate lawyers. Psychiatrist 2: I do too, but they make wonderful patients. They have excellent health insurance and they never get better. ~ From the television series 'Frasier'.")
if (hr == (" 18"))
tag=("If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.")
if (hr == (" 19"))
tag=("Richard Milhous Nixon Memorial Award: Awarded to the law student who has stolen the most final law exams without getting caught.")
if (hr == (" 20"))
tag=("I can't help but wonder...how many people bought the Jurassic Park video for the great acting...how many bought it for the special effects...and how many people bought it to see the lawyer get eaten again?")
if (hr == (" 21"))
tag=("A jury is twelve persons who are to decide which party has the better lawyer. ~ Robert Frost")
if (hr == (" 22"))
tag=("Justice? You get justice in the next world, in this world you have the law. ~ William Gaddis, writer")
if (hr == (" 23"))
tag=("Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. ~ Matt Groening")
if (hr == (" 24"))
tag=("Justice is incidental to law and order. ~ J. Edgar Hoover")
if (hr == (" 25"))
tag=("Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. ~ Martin Luther King")
if (hr == (" 26"))
tag=("If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room. ~ Anita Koddick")
if (hr == (" 27"))
tag=("I was ruined but twice- once when I lost a law suit, and once when I won ~ Voltaire")
if (hr == (" 28"))
tag=("In law, nothing is certain but the expense ~ Samuel Butler")
if (hr == (" 29"))
tag=("The law in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. ~ Anatole France")
if (hr == (" 30"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 31"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 32"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 33"))
tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 45"))
tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 47"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 48"))
tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 50"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 51"))
tag=(".")
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tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 53"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 54"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 55"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 56"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 57"))
tag=(".")
if (hr == (" 58"))
tag=("I do not like this word 'bomb'.  It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding. ~ French ambassador to New Zealand")
if (hr == (" 59"))
tag=("Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. ~ Winston Churchill")
document.write("<font size=-2>" + tag + "</font>")


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